20 Questions

Being a new mom on the elementary scene is tough. Apparently, no one else at the elementary school is a new parent, because all sorts of short hand and code words are used to convey relatively simple concepts that I don't understand at all. Since school started, I have tried to limit my teacher emails to one a week, but then they end up like the one I sent yesterday that included not one, but 5 questions. Continuing the typical pattern of dialogue that has been established with said kindergarten teacher, all but one are answered.

Five seems excessive for one email, but I'm sure I could come up with more. In fact, let's try:

1) What's a smart board? (answer: some sort of nifty computer/projection thing. only available to the best type of classrooms, I'm told)
2) Why does PTA feel like junior high school?
3) Do they need 5 choices of entree every day? Will they expect that at home? (Oops, that's two)
4) When did I get old?
5) Why do I recognize so many of these old people (aka parents) from high school?
6) Is it too late to move out of state so I won't recognize any of these people from high school?
7) Will the PTA meetings always be conducted in 5 minutes? I could really go for that.
8) What do they do there all day anyway?
9) Are they learning anything between all the art, recess and center selection time?
10) What do you do will all of this stuff they send home?
11) And, if they send the same thing home twice, am I to submit it twice?
12) If this is environmentally-friendly distribution, I'd hate to see what it was like before the internet. (not really a question, but I'm telling you...)
13) Do any of the kids eat the healthy sides that come with the lunch?
14) What do they do there all day anyway?
15) Now that I'm a parent, am I supposed to like the principal? Is she really the PAL they always said she was in spelling class?
16) Who bought all that playground equipment, and since when did we add grass and soccer fields to the playground?
17) Do you think that when the teachers say that movie-time isn't really a movie, they're just trying to make us feel better?
18) Is my kid doing well? Why do I have to wait 2 months to find out?
19) How do you tell the "cool" volunteer opportunities from the "over-eager stay-at-home mom" opportunities?
20) What do they do there all day????!!!!

Have you felt the same things? Do you have advice for us elementary newbies? Let me know in the comments section!